Motivation NOT Frustration

I need motivation, not frustration. It seems like lately I have been getting more and more frustrated and less and less motivated in my life. What gives? What is so completely wrong with me that I am unable to find motivation, me the one who always finds the bright side and pushes forward? Seriously, what is going on?


It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I hurt my knee a month and a half ago, while on vacation, and have been unable to work out on a regular basis since. Nope, can't be that. Wrong!!! I did not realize how much a person can accomplish when they are active and moving. I would start my days with good intentions and then by the end of the work day I just could not get motivated. I guess having just a little something wrong can have a big impact on your life, if you let it. And it seems that I have been letting it.


I went to the Dr. and he found that I have a rent or tear in the cartilage of my knee. It sounds like surgery will be in my future but not right now. I can deal with that. He also said that I could go jogging and do what ever I felt OK doing. I can really deal with that, too. I didn't realize that I was letting my fear and frustration of hurting myself more keep me from feeling good all over. Seriously, I was afraid I was going to hurt myself more by working out, and I am so excited to finally feel good and positive about working out.


I was so excited to workout that I decided to jog 2 miles Friday evening. I did so good, if I do say so myself, and motivation came to visit my house. I am not usually a jogger or a runner, I have never done either in the past and have always felt that I was just wasting my time, but this time was different. I do not know what was different but I managed to jog the whole two miles and not stop and walk at any time while doing it. And I wasn't gasping for breath either. MOTIVATION!!!


FRUSTRATION!!! I awoke Saturday morning with my knee being so stiff and sore, I just wanted to cry, throw my arms in the air, and lay flat on the floor kicking and screaming, only that would have really hurt my knee. Bummed was the word of the day. Yeah I know, I did to much to soon after not being able to really keep to a work out schedule for the past month and a half. But I really miss working out and I have gained a few pounds!! (said while stomping my feet gingerly, my knee still hurts)


Somebody or something please rescue me. I am feeling, as I said before, really really frustrated. I have decided that I will do the best I can and try my hardest to push myself just a little further each day, with the determination that I will overcome this obstacle and be triumphant here shortly. Encouraging words would be greatly appreciated.


Love to All


midRae