Dreams

I dreamed about my big brother last night. It left me sad and confused. Sad because I miss him, confused because I don't know why he came to me in a dream the way he did. I haven't seen him since January 30. You see, he died on January 26, 2009.

As we were driving to his graveside the song 'Hero' came on the radio. When I heard the first words of the song I cried out and turned the radio off. But just a quickly I turned it back on. I know God was reminding me of how much I looked up to my brother and what a strong person and spirit he is and was.

As we grew up we fought so much and had very little in common. He is five years older than I am and it seems that I was always standing between him and our younger brother. We took different paths in our lives and saw each other rarely. We even lived in the same town but seemed to not have much time for each other.

He was diagnosed with cancer 5 years ago. We learned to communicate, which I find to be a great blessing. He decided to put his life in God's hands and let God decide what would happen with his life. God gave him some pretty amazing years. My brother taught me that I was not the one in control of my life. That God is the One in control of my life. He showed me that God is taking and sending me to where I would not go on my own. He showed me that God has a plan for me and that only God knows where my life will go. He thaught me how to forgive, without even knowing that he did.

My brother had so much faith and trust in God. He taught us all some life lessons in the last years of his life. I hope and pray that I may have the same faith and trust in God. I love and miss my big brother so much and wish that I could tell him that just one more time.

Love Always,

midRae

Things To Remember...........I had the coolest bike in the world when I was growing up. It was just a plain jane blue bike. Nothing fancy but is was so fast. I remember racing my older brother, him on his 10 speed and me on my little blue bike. I always beat him. I so loved that bike. I don't remember what ever happened to it but it sure did leave me with a great feeling of accomplishment as I grew up. It showed me that I could be a winner, I just had to remember to never give up and try as hard as I could.